Planning your wedding: where should you actually start?

You open Pinterest to look for a feel for the day and, twenty minutes later, you're comparing chairs, bouquets and three types of invitation. The problem isn't a lack of ideas. It's that some decisions depend on choices you haven't made yet.

You don't have to decide everything now. I suggest starting with the choices that shape everything else, then letting the rest wait its turn.

1. Describe what you want to experience

Before talking about a theme, ask yourselves what you want to feel and share. A big party until morning? A long dinner with wonderful food? An intimate ceremony? A weekend with friends and family staying on site?

Write down three priorities each, separately, then compare them. The words you share become your first filter. If ‘having time with our loved ones’ comes first, a packed programme and three venues far apart probably won't fit.

2. Agree on a maximum budget

Don't start by allocating every euro. First, decide what you can commit without putting your other plans at risk, who will contribute and whether any conditions come with that help.

A family contribution deserves a clear conversation. Is it an unconditional gift? Does it come with a say over the guest list? It's better to ask before booking than to find out when you're working on the seating plan.

3. Put together an initial guest list

You don't need a final list. You need a realistic idea of the numbers. Make three columns:

• the people you can't imagine the day without;
• the people you'd really like to invite;
• invitations linked to tradition, parents' wishes or uncertainty.

The venue, food and some of the logistics depend directly on this figure. Looking for an estate for 70 people when your list already contains 115 makes it impossible to compare options on a realistic basis.

4. Choose a period, rather than a single date

A specific date can limit you before you've even looked at venues and key suppliers. Instead, agree on a season, two or three possible months and the days of the week you'd consider.

Then check with the town hall. In France, the ceremony date is agreed with the town hall once the application is complete. Procedures and timescales vary between municipalities, so contact the relevant town hall before printing anything.

5. Compare venues using the same criteria

The venue shapes much of the day: capacity, atmosphere, furniture, the backup plan, catering, accommodation, timings and travel. Use the same criteria on every visit rather than relying only on first impressions.

In the Hérault, always consider comfort in hot weather, the availability of a covered space and how guests will get back at the end of the evening.

6. Book the suppliers whose availability shapes the date

Once the venue and date are secured, move on to the suppliers whose availability matters most: caterer, photographer, musicians, videographer or celebrant, depending on your priorities.

Don't send ten vague enquiries. Prepare a message with the date, venue, estimated guest count, the type of service you're looking for and an approximate budget. The replies will be easier to compare.

What can wait?

The colour palette, wedding favours, guest book, signs and most activities don't need deciding at the beginning. Keep a note of ideas, but don't put them ahead of contracts, travel or the venue's capacity.

Good organisation isn't about deciding everything quickly. It's about making each decision when it becomes useful.

Your next hour of wedding planning

Take a sheet of paper and write down just your three priorities, your maximum budget, a low and high estimate of guest numbers, and three possible periods. You'll already have a much stronger brief for starting your search.

If you're stuck on these foundations, I can help you work through them in a coaching session. And if you'd prefer to hand over the research and comparisons, full wedding planning starts at exactly this point.